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Co Dependence while leaving other emotions

Co Dependence while leaving other emotions

Co Dependence while leaving other emotions


Co-Dependency: How much is enough?


Co-dependency is a learned behaviour that is usually get be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioural condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with co-dependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. The disorder was first identified about ten years ago as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics. Co-dependent behaviour is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behaviour.

Whom Does Co-dependency Affect?

Co-dependency often affects a spouse, a parent, sibling, friend, or co-worker of a person afflicted with alcohol or drug dependence. Originally, co-dependent was a term used to describe partners in chemical dependency, persons living with, or in a relationship with an addicted person. Similar patterns have been seen in people in relationships with chronically or mentally ill individuals. Today, however, the term has broadened to describe any co-dependent person from any dysfunctional family.

What is a Dysfunctional Family and How Does it Lead to Co-dependency?

A dysfunctional family is one in which members suffer from fear, anger, pain, or shame that is ignored, supressed or denied. Underlying problems may include any of the following:

·         An addiction by a family member to drugs, alcohol, relationships, work, food, sex, or gambling.

·         The existence of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.

·         The presence of a family member suffering from a chronic mental or physical illness.



Dysfunctional families do not acknowledge that problems exist. They don’t talk about them or confront them. As a result, family members learn to repress emotions and disregard their own needs. They become “survivors.” They develop behaviours that help them deny, ignore, or avoid difficult emotions. They detach themselves. They don’t talk. The identity and emotional development of a person often remains as unaddressed that they even forget themselves.


Also, these people may be taking care of family member who is ill or addicted. The co-dependent person typically sacrifices his or her needs to take care of a person. When co-dependents place other people’s health, welfare and safety before their own, they can lose contact with their own needs, desires, and sense of self.


How Do Co-dependent People Behave?

Co-dependents have low self-esteem and have hard times to be themselves. They look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better and some try to feel better through alcohol, drugs or nicotine - and become addicted.

They have good intentions and they try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to an individual in need. A wife may cover for her alcoholic husband; a mother may make excuses for a truant child; or a father may “pull some strings” to keep his child from suffering the consequences of delinquent behavior.

Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are:

1.       An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others

2.       A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue

3.       A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time

4.       A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts

5.       An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment

6.       An extreme need for approval and recognition

7.       A sense of guilt when asserting themselves

8.       A compelling need to control others

9.       Lack of trust in self and/or others

10.   Fear of being abandoned or alone

11.   Difficulty identifying feelings

12.   Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change

13.   Problems with intimacy/boundaries

14.   Chronic anger

15.   Lying/dishonesty

16.   Poor communications

17.   Difficulty making decisions

Are you looking for guidance for yourself or for your loved ones contact us on 9899-291-202. We have helped thousands of families and professional individuals to fight their anxieties and even cure it completely.

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